Old People.

There is something fundamentally wrong with old people.  They have so much hatred, it's wearing off on me now!  I heard an old man bitching at this woman today while getting food, and I was screaming, internally.  I was about this close to doing something.  Of course, I didn't, I just walked away.  

There's something that happens in a person's life that they feel it necessary to make everyone around then miserable with them.  Whether it be by yelling at a woman working behind a counter or simply setting your car on fire, something needs to be done.  John Lennon always made it known that he never wanted to grow old, and for good reason!  If being a meanie and growing ridiculous mustachios are all that I have to look forward to, than no thank you!

So here is what I am proposing.  We need to act against these people.  I am tired of them taking money from my paychecks and being able to wear diapers.  

I am not proposing violence or aggression against the decrepit, but instead we should do something that no one has ever done before...ever!...well, maybe it's been done, I haven't really researched this, I'm just talking on a whim here.  But anyways...I feel that we should mess with the old people's senses.  Most old people have at least one sense failing on them.  I think it's a rule, you don't get gray hair until your hearing, vision, or smell are going.  

So, we will take advantage of this, and strike them with so much fear, that they will go home, and leave the cities and other human ordinances alone.  

If the subject cannot see too well, we will pretend to be being eaten alive by some type of fictional monster.  The image of a giant squid or jellyfish works well for me.  Have someone throw something at you and pretend it's tentacles on you.

If they cannot smell too well, embarrass them!  Tell them they defecated in their pants!  They will be so ashamed and red in the face that they will run, or walk away in search of a bathroom or new diaper.  I can see it now, that would be great.

My favorite is to install extreme fear in them.  Most really old people come from a day when the threat of a war with the Nazi's still seems possible.  Well, if they cannot hear, you need to somehow convince them that there are bomb sirens going off.  Now, this may seem cruel or unfair, but think about it...they're not actually going off, meaning there is no real danger to them.  We also need to convince them that the only safe place is back in their nursing home.  And hopefully they will stay there for a long time.  

On the other hand, how cool would it be to go to this nursing home?

So back to the point.  We've had many foes in our time.  First the natives, then the Nazi's, the Russians, the Republicans, etc.  But this certainly is one of the worst.  

Good luck.

-Nick